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A daily struggle of mine is completing something long term. I feel as if I do a lot of things daily, but never get a lot done. Did that make sense?! My day starts at 4:30 in the morning and I am on the go until at least 9 or 10pm. You would think being awake that many hours that I would feel extremely productive...wrong! I feel as if I get many things done, but nothing complete. I'm going through the same motions, but never moving forward, or so it feels. I struggle and fight that Whirlwind, daily! I think using the 4DX model will help me stop feeling that way. It requires me to set one goal and achieve it, then move on to another. I find the most interesting part about this model is that it isn't anything new or far-fetched. These are truly attainable goals and clear for anyone. I sometimes find myself looking for the latest and greatest, when that isn't always what works best. These are four simple strategies that work well, IF they are completed and followed. Nothing works unless you put in the work regardless of how simple it may seem. I will say that the five stages are what I am currently wrapping my head around. I wouldn't say that they are anything mind boggling or something I'm struggling to understand, it's the simple fact that I'm slightly surprised it's so simple. I'm totally aware that the action of completing this strategy is completely different than just discussing it, but up until recently I was struggling to connect the dots and I finally feel like everything is becoming clear. Phew!

Is teacher tired really a thing? I am exhausted every single day. I can't figure out if it's this time of the school year that is exhausting or if this a new forever thing. My weekdays starts around 4:30 am every morning and end about 11 pm. I keep thinking this is a normal schedule for any given person, but how do y'all function? I have so much on my to-do list and I can't seem to get everything done. I recently read a Facebook post (I think) it could've been something I dreamt about I really do not remember, but it said to write six important tasks you want to complete that day in order of significance. It went on to explain that any free moment you had, you were to work on the tasks in order. You are not allowed to move on to the next thing on the list until the first one is complete. Well I started doing this Monday morning and guess what? It's currently 11:58 pm Saturday night and I still haven't completed the first thing on that list. It wasn't from lack of trying, or so I don't feel that it was. It just seemed that every time I went back to the list, that something came up. Now I know, it said get the first thing done and then move on, but these were the type of things that HAD to get done because your team leader is parked at your door and isn't moving until she gets what she came in for. Maybe it's me. Maybe I need to gain some better self-discipline skills and reel all of this in. I'm up for any tips that someone might have to better prioritize my life.🤦‍♀️

I think the COVA learning approach is going to force me to learn in this program. I know that seems like an obvious answer, but when I recall a few previous programs that I have been a part of, that wasn’t the case. I say this often about the teaching program I graduated from. Yes, I received my degree, but when I stepped foot into that classroom, I felt like I had zero preparation for what was about to occur. Now, maybe that’s how teaching is, I truly do not know, but I think with the program using the COVA approach I am gaining knowledge that will be useful for my future to come no matter what career path I may choose. In all honesty, no the COVA approach does not appeal to me, but I see the purpose and significance of it. I see how different I look at certain situations since I started the program and I know I am more open to failing now because I can see that there will be a chance to learn something. It’s still by no means easy for me, even now that I’ve been exposed to it, but I see the potential it has on changing my life and my students’ lives and for that reason I am invested. Ownership is the part of COVA that I have had the most challenges with. There’s something about knowing I am in charge of my own learning and success that scares me. I want to be successful. As I stated earlier, I have been through two or three other programs where the goals and assignments were clearly listed and I did them to the best of THE ASSIGNMENT’S ability just so I could make the A. There was zero sense of ownership in that type of setup. There was no learning involved in that. I did what the teacher asked and moved on to the next assignment. Bluntly, I didn’t care whether I learned something or not, as long as I got the A and my GPA was great, that’s what mattered. This program is NOT that. Again, I clearly see the purpose, now, but that behavior I created isn’t changed overnight which is why I think taking ownership of my own progress, success and learning is going to be tough. I love the video content and I want to incorporate that into my ePortfolio. I’ve mentioned a few times that reading isn’t my thing, but I love the YouTube videos. They get to the point and I’m able to instantly replay or pause to dive into deep thought about something that was discussed. I’m aware that is very possible when reading a book, but the videos capture my attention. Applied Digital Learning. (2021, January 8). It's About Learning. Retrieved March 27, 2021, from http://www.harapnuik.org/?page_id=8517

Before watching the two videos in the module, I was still a little lost as to how I was going to go about creating this change. Now, I had read the book and I had created my vital behaviors but there was something about the way the All Washed Up! video with the kids that hit me differently. I’d like to think that it may have been because that’s the realm I’m comfortable with. I could definitely see my kiddos having all of those behaviors with the cupcake situation. I even chuckled at the first change when the little boy said he was just going to “tell them.” I thought, “Yeah, okay, better tell them two and half dozen times in the next five minutes if you want any of that to sink in.” Then the light bulb went off, hello, that’s the point! It’s important to have, or at least attempt, to have all six sources of influence because the video clearly showed that one, two, and three factors made little to no effect on changing the kiddos behavior. I also thought it was amazing how much peer pressure or influence made on the result. I think this was because I’m used to viewing peer pressure in a negative way that I wasn’t seeing how it could be useful for positive change. I related this to the “silent treatment” that I give my students when I am trying to get their attention. I do call backs, but when I do not feel like screaming over them, I stand in front of the room and just stare. I roam my eyes around the room until I find that one person that makes eye contact with me. It’s usually one that is already quiet and I give a smile. Then, I roam my eyes again this time looking for the loudest one in the room. I then lock my eyes on them and I don’t let up until the fire in my eyes have burnt a hole in their shirt. Okay, not really, but I do intensely look at them until they look at me. Then, they do and my work is done. I usually give the “what are you doing?!” look and then word travels faster than those kids in the video running to the cupcakes after the flag is down and the whistle has blown. Suddenly, the class is quiet within seconds. Hence, the power of peer influence. This is how I envision peer influence with my innovation plan. It will take a longer time than the example I provided above, but the same concept is still involved. There will be times when I will not have to “promote” blended learning. Rather, I will let my little influencers do that on their own. Although I make a major point with peer influence, I need to remember that that is only ONE of the sources of influences to consider. It may be a huge one, but just as in the video, four sources made the most change. I want the most change to come from my initiative which means I need to be faithfully following AT LEAST four or more of those sources. VitalSmarts Speakers. (2012, December 17). Influencer | Cricket Buchler [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/wu7UBY5euBg VitalSmarts Video. (2009, September 21). All Washed Up! [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/osUwukXSd0k

I don’t think I would be doing myself any justice by saying I have a growth mindset when I know that I do not. It’s embarrassing. It’s disappointing. BUT the upside is that it’s fixable. I wouldn’t say that I’m one to give up when things get hard, but my attitude about hard things is a different story. I don’t like hard things. If you’ve read my recent blog post though, you will remember me saying one of my mantra’s is, “I can do hard things.” I know what you’re thinking, “Wait, what?!” I JUST said I didn’t like to do hard things, yet .0987 seconds later I said I can do them. I’ve learned this about myself, I have to feel the hurt, or in this case the hard, and then move on. My mindset needs an adjustment when it comes to the initial struggle of something. I know that is something I need to work on and, slowly, very slowly, I feel as if I’m getting better about it. It isn’t the fact that something’s hard that makes me have a poor attitude. It’s the simple fact that why isn’t it easy?! I now have an answer for that...because I wouldn’t show any growth within myself. I know that I can do hard things, but if I took that stance and mindset from the get go, there’s no doubt that I would be able to accomplish far more than what I have. I challenge myself to shift my focus from saying “I can do hard things” to “I enjoy doing hard things.” I think that one word will help me seek out the learning rather than the results. As I was listening and watching the videos and reading over the articles, I truly was wondering how I was going to avoid a “false” growth mindset. Call me crazy, but I thought of creating a poster or multiple small posters with correct verbiage to use with my students. Speaking for myself, I don’t think I would intentionally foster a “false” growth mindset, but I do think it would happen to me. I get so wrapped up into everything else that I say the first thing that comes to mind and sometimes that’s not the best choice of words. I even thought of making small stickers and posting them on my desk for quick reference. I think as time goes on it’s going to be simple to say the “correct” thing and listen to see if others are using the appropriate growth mindset talk, but right now I need quick reminders. I also thought this would be good for my students to see so they could become naturally inclined to listening and speaking with a growth mindset. I picture some of my students saying, “Ms. R, you used words from the fixed mindset side. You’re not supposed to do that, remember.” This will always be a teaching point because I will tell them, “You’re right! A growth mindset is something we are always working on. I know I didn’t choose my words correctly, but now that you have pointed it out, I know that YOU know what words I should have used.” I want my student’s to see that we, both them and myself, are always learning. I may be older than them, but I am always learning and always wanting to learn.

Common sense is not the reason for behavior change. You read that right. Is NOT. Although we have a tendency to believe that if we have common sense, what could steer us wrong?! Jeni Cross’ last statement in her video will forever receive a jaw dropping response. “But you will be the least successful, if you let common sense be your guide.” The crowd laughed. I laughed. After listening to her video, I understand this statement she makes, but I still find it shocking how true it is. I think if I were to paste that up on my wall in my classroom, my principal may leave a note on my desk telling me to fix that typo. The desired results I would like to see in my project is that play-based learning does serve a purpose for my students. Although it may not produce immediate data like a CBA would, it will show growth in my students in other forms. So here’s the first strategy for finding those oh-so-valuable vital behaviors. Look for behaviors that are both obvious and underused. These are actions that lead directly to the desired results and often come with a big “Duhhh!” But they are also typically underused—not because we’re morons, but because the behaviors can be exceptionally difficult or unpleasant. After reading this strategy, I thought of how obvious it is that kids like to play. It’s not a shocking discovery. It’s not a surprise. That idea isn’t one that I came up with on my own. Kids like to play. Period. It seems as if this needs to be backed up by data to be proven to be correct. Wait, what?! I feel as if that’s the point that is trying to be made. People tend to miss what’s right in front of them because they’re always looking for the next best thing. Nothing can replace hands on authentic playing. I know there’s an argument for that, but allowing a child to explore and make this world their own cannot be replaced or replicated by something people think is better. Grenny, Joseph; Grenny, Joseph; Patterson, Kerry; Patterson, Kerry; Maxfield, David; Maxfield, David; McMillan, Ron; McMillan, Ron; Switzler, Al; Switzler, Al. Influencer: The New Science of Leading Change, Second Edition (p. 48). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition.

“The word impossible literally says I’m possible.” I cannot take credit for that phrase, but I’m not sure who exactly said it. What I do know is this is what I think of when I think of a growth mindset. Impossible, who? Impossible, nothing! In retrospect, I think it would’ve been beneficial for me to take this course as one of my first courses for the program. The first eight weeks were a struggle. I rode that struggle bus and named it hot mess express. It was hard! BUT not impossible! It did take me awhile to work through the struggle and figure out how I was going to make this possible, but once I told myself that I could do it, it made it easier. I don’t mean the work was easier; I mean my mindset was in a better place and I knew I was fully capable of accomplishing the tasks that lied ahead. Depending on what mindset I’m in determines how I take feedback or feed forward. Now, I know, I know! I just spent the whole paragraph above saying I’m this changed person and am embracing the yet...but I’m also human. I have days where I hear feedback and I think, “I gave everything I possibly could and you’re still not happy?!” That isn’t a growth mindset and I think it makes me a better person knowing I am able to see that and call myself out on it. I’ve learned to accept the “criticism”( in a fixed mindset that’s how I view it) and then come back and revisit the comments when I’m ready to be an open and willing participant in my own learning. I started reading Mindset before class started and I have been taking small bits of the information and working it into my everyday life in hopes that I will one day be the walking, talking, living, breathing form of Dweck’s book. I started praising my son for his process, not his results. I was the parent who said, “You made a 100. Whoop, whoop! Let’s hang it on the fridge!” I didn’t take into consideration what it took to get him there. I did not see nor try to understand his process. I simply saw the grade and said, “Good job!” What if he cheated to get that 100? Would I still be hanging that paper up on the fridge? Heck no! But that’s what I was telling him, without actually telling him. I’ve tried to work harder at praising him for his process. For example, every week he does “cold reads” and “hot reads” with a short story that his teacher gives him. A hot read is one that he practices daily. I stopped praising him on doing well on those because well he should do well on them. We’re reading them daily, multiple times a day; he’s supposed to do good. I started praising him on his cold reads, instead. I started saying, “Way to improve on those cold reads. I know they’re tougher because you don’t get to bring them home and practice, but you’re still improving.” One day he finally replied, “I’ve been sounding out the words and slowing down when I read so I do better and get faster.” I just about cried, y’all! I didn’t expect him to have that reply. He was able to explain his thought process and tell me why it was working. He’s seven...I didn’t think that was possible. I am continuing this within my classroom and with myself. One syllable word. Three letters. It will change your life.

Do you have a mantra? In all honesty, I never "believed" in them. I believe in the power of prayer. I love reflecting on quotes...but a mantra? Just didn't seem like it was for me. But, one day, I got buried in the world of TikTok and landed on the side of TikTok mantras. Here's a famous one that I can almost guarantee you will be singing by the end of it: "I am healthy. I am wealthy. I am rich. I am that..." Well you know the rest.(; I was struggling one day and I couldn't find a quote that I resonated with. I decided to build my own mantra and let me tell you...LIFE CHANGING! I have done the impossible. I have. Or at least I feel like I have and that's what counts, right? I dug my way out of a toxic relationship. D.U.G. I used a shovel. I used my hands. I jumped and I crawled. I got out! I never thought I could do it, but here I am to say otherwise. I DID the impossible, which means I can DO the impossible. I am strong. I am brave. I stand 5 feet tall on a good day...but I am strong. I am the first generation of my Hispanic family to attend and graduate from a university. I am also the only one who is pursuing a master's degree. I am paving this road for my son and future children. My parents instilled in me that hard work will get you far in life, but college was a realm neither one had been exposed to. As proud as they are of me, they remind me often that I did this on my own. I am brave because I chose a road never traveled and am somehow successfully navigating it. I can do hard things. My son lost his dad when he was five years old. Five. I was 25 at the time and my world was shattered. I wallowed in the sadness for days. One morning I woke up and looked at the innocence in my son and thought, "He's here. He's living. He's breathing. I am blessed." We have hard days often, but we are so blessed with the life God still continues to provide for us. Every day I do hard things. Every day I am a better person because of it. My why...Reegan. My son is my whole world. I know people say this often, but I don't know what my life would look like had God not sent him to me. I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant and raising another human seemed impossible. Remember what I said about the impossible? Anyways, he has always and will always be my why. I left a toxic relationship because Reegan deserved to see me live a better life. I obtained my bachelors degree because Reegan didn't deserve to be a statistic. I moved and uprooted our life because Reegan deserves a stable environment. I am continuing my education because Reegan deserves a role model he can look up to and be proud of. He truly is my why. Now...tell me your mantra.

Welcome back, everyone! Why does the weekend fly by!? Nevertheless, here we are back in action. My innovation project is blended learning in Kindergarten. I’m taking a hard look at adding play-based learning into that title somehow but I haven’t found the right flow yet. I want to implement station rotations using technology, STEM/STEAM, play-based learning, and teacher small group. I believe my most significant implementation challenge will be holding the students accountable for their learning. That’s currently my hardest challenge right now in the classroom and I think it will continue on even when I implement this. My classmates could help me with my project by providing different imaginative stations I could provide my students. I’m trying to decide how much I want to rock the boat with my district. I think the correct answer for that, in this course, is rock it as much as you can, but I’m struggling because play based learning is looked down upon in my district. It’s avoided like the plague because “it doesn’t provide data.” Now, I don’t agree with this, but I am guaranteed to get some push back on it. I figure if I can justify what I’m doing, then they will have no valid reason to say no. For example, we have a math unit on financial literacy/personal finance and coins. An obvious suggestion would be to have a store and give the students free reign to explore while still fitting everything within the unit I am teaching. It gets a little tricky when it comes to addition and subtraction and finding a way to give the students the free reign while still saying I’m providing them an opportunity to master our objectives. I hope that made sense because I have a tendency to believe that because I understood it in my own head that everyone else did also...oops! I think I will be able to help out my classmates by being a willing guinea pig. For instance, Bianca uses scrum and I would love to try that initiative out within my classroom and see what worked and what didn’t. How could it be improved or what she could be able to tell the next kindergarten teacher who wants to give it a go in their classroom. Let me know what you’d like me and my kiddos to try out for you!

This new information changes my thinking about how to promote change because in a world (or district) that is completely motivated by data...it apparently isn’t. I am a people pleaser at heart. I want to do or give what makes someone happy. I thought this was giving my admin the best data I could provide. While some of that may be true, what is also very true is they have a heart and aside from what anyone says that’s what they lead with. I think we traditionally target the mind and ignore the heart because of what I mentioned earlier. We live in a data driven world. We, as a society, believe that the proof is in the pudding. We look for data to back up our reasoning or logic for everything. When we search for a hotel room, we look at how many stars they have. When we buy a product on Amazon, we read the reviews. When we buy a house, we research the market. We THINK our world revolves around this data, but as I’m learning, the data is the result, not our why. Why do we look at the star ratings of a hotel? Because we want to stay where others believe what we believe. I believe in staying in a safe, friendly, home away from home type of environment. I will stay with the hotel that believes in these same things. I’m not looking for a hotel that believes in a quick fix, cheapest route, just make do for one night type of environment. I believe that answering the question of why is so important in changing efforts for the reason mentioned above. “People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it.” Simon Sinek repeats and repeats this. Until I have my why, nothing else matters. I can have my how and my what, but without a why I’m at a standstill.

It did not take much for me to realize that I am not an innovative educator. That is not said easily, though. I almost dread saying it…I do not want to be "that" person/teacher who isn't giving their students a valuable learning experience. I cringe at the thought of it because I truly want to do better and be better, and I didn't know that I wasn't. I start to think about my fellow colleagues at my school and wonder if they ever sit there and ponder this same thought? Do they even know that they aren't giving their students the best learning experience? I know that's where we come in and we make the change and show them how much of a difference authentic learning can actual make, but this is a retraining of the brain. Had I not applied to the program, I would have went about my life truly thinking I was on the path to having a successful teaching career. I was definitely wrong. I sensed myself becoming defensive when I was answering the list of questions that Dr. H left for us to reflect over. "Are you creating a learning environment where your students work is meaningful and authentic? If not, why not?" The immediate response in my head was, "Well, I didn't know I wasn't, sheesh!" I took some time to reflect over the question to come up with a better response than that and I think the reason why I am not, is because I do not know how. As I've mentioned before, this isn't something you just go next door and ask your teacher neighbor, BUT it should be!! Right there is the disconnect. Just because I can't go ask someone for the answer, that means I give up? I wouldn't have any of the things I had if I lived by that mentality. I need to take ownership of my own learning, regardless if it's for a grade or not, and remember why it's important to me.

The Power of Words video, reminded me of many videos that I have seen on TikTok. Now, I know that some of those videos are based solely on words and that's why we relate. But there are certain ones that come to mind where I am triggered by the music and graphics in the video even though not one "word" was spoken. I feel like this is my goal with the video that I am going to creating. It's a quick, gut wrenching, heart string pulling, needs to be relatable, tidbit of my entire project. I think relatability is key here. We want to know we aren't alone. I always hear of people looking for "their tribe." Whether that's fitness, teaching, stay at home moms, or millennials we always looking for someone to share in our experiences. This can relate this to our video because we want our audience to say, "Yes, that's what I've been feeling" or "you've put into words (or lack there of) what I have been feeling," and then follow up with a solution. Simply providing the information doesn't work because we all know what doesn't work, whether that be the STAAR test for some or not feeling heard by our administration for others, but what do we do with that information. We're all looking for answers. I want my video to do that for my audience. I was to reel them in with a relatable topic, and then give my proposed solution all while using more emotions and less words. Easy enough? Right?!